You may have come across at least one false twin flame in your past. The purpose of the false twin is to give you a practice run before getting together with your real twin flame. This is the one (or ones) that you can make all your mistakes and learn from them. You will have a strong attraction to your false twin(s) but when you meet your real twin you will notice that the magnetic attraction is so much more powerful with your real twin. Soulmates can be valuable in learning about relationship behaviours and patterns, but the false twin flame will mirror more how things can play out with your real twin flame, especially in the earlier stages before you get to the place of surrendering trust to the Universe.
On meeting your false twin you will have this strong attraction and there will be the obsession there and you will either never really be able to get it together or there will be conflict. A big difference between your false twin and your real twin is that your real twin does not want to intentionally hurt you, they will not want to use you or make you feel used. Even if they cannot admit it at first, there is a deep love and respect for the real twin that means they cannot treat you bad intentionally. It doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt but hurting you also hurts them and they would prefer to try and run from you rather than get into anything that could hurt you. You are unlikely to end up with a friends with benefits situation that ends up with feeling used. The false twin will be able to be friends with benefit, they will be able to hurt you and make you feel used. The reason being they are there to teach you things about yourself and your approach to relationships. You will learn how you want to be treated, how you should behave so that you show love and respect for yourself, how you expect your partner to behave in a relationship with unconditional love. You learn what the boundaries should be in a loving relationship. You learn what not to do with your real twin. You may keep thinking back to your false twin over the years, about your time together and thinking what if. This is why you can be confused as to whether they are your real twin or not and sometimes this will not be apparent until you have met your real twin. I now believe that this is because you need to remember how it was so you can apply the lessons from these liaisons/relationships when you meet your real twin flame.
I met my false twin flame at 18 and we had an on and off thing for 3 years but I never forgot him and there were many times over the years I thought of him and wondered what if. By the time my false twin told me his true feelings for me I had met someone else and was pregnant with my first child; I had to walk away, so we never really got it together properly. I still thought about him now and then and wondered if he was ‘the one’ who got away until I met my real twin flame. I had stayed with the person I had children with for many years and he was a soulmate to me but not ‘the one’. I met my real twin when I was single again after the death of this partner. On meeting my real twin I was left feeling like I’d never been in love before and all thoughts of my false twin maybe being the one vanished. Instead with my real twin flame I had no doubt that he was the one, there was no feeling of might be the one this time. This is also when I realised the importance of the false twin experience and that was not to repeat the same mistakes. I had chased my false twin and when he didn’t respond quick enough I would move onto someone else or back to an ex, never being single for long. I didn’t give him chance to trust the connection between us but he always gravitated back to me until that final time when I walked away for good and broke all contact, but there were times when I think we both felt used during that time we had. This time around with the real twin flame I wasn’t going to repeat the same mistakes, I remembered the lessons.
With your own situation, take time to think back to how things played out in previous relationships and liaisons. Where there any key themes that keep repeating? Don’t just think about false twin flames, also think back to relationships with other soulmates and whether there are other key themes there. I never used to think I had a ‘type’ but I was thinking more in terms of physical appearances, what someone did for a living, their hobbies etc. The one thing I didn’t thing about were relationship lessons; once I started looking at things in this light I found that I did have a ‘type’ in this sense. For me there was a strong co-dependent message there from both how I was, and how significant partners were with me. The ones I settled with for any period of time were definitely co-dependent on me, just as I was on them. The only one before my real twin flame not being co-dependent was my false twin flame.
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